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Josh Feingold Blog | simple truths - Part 3
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“The time conundrum.”

Josh Feingold | Mar 4, 2013

I have been struggling with time lately. Here is the basic conundrum: When I don’t have excess time, I wish I did.  When I have extra time, I wish I had something to do with it. Basically, when I am busy and everything is flying in different directions all around me, or perhaps I am enjoying myself in a zone, hyper-focused, I lament the fact that there isn’t enough time in the day, and that time slips by me so fast, as I silently march towards the grave on the steady escalater of time. However, when things are slow, and there is nothing to do, I bemoan the fact that I have nothing to do with my time, and what a waste of a moment!  Of course, I could choose to fill it with something fun, but them I am back to the first part of my conundrum. The upshot is that time is either filled or it is not.  Those are the two states of time from my personal perspective.  Time filled, moves fast.  Time unfilled, moves slow.  Time filled, slips quickly away into the past, but is fulfilling.  Time unfilled sits steady, but is unfulfilling. Thinking about it, I think time is meant to be filled meaningfully, and allowed to speed by.  For the process of bemoaning the unfilled state stems from unhappyness (probably due to a chemical reality about fulfillment).  Of course, looking back and bemoaning where did the time go, is equally not acceptable.However, I would think that the importance of enjoying your now trumps, looking back and bemoaning your past. Of course, in everything that we do, if we allow mindfulness and new experiences to populate our lives, it will allow for a slight slowing down of time when we are in it....

“And now for something completely different.”

Josh Feingold | Mar 2, 2013

I went to the Goat Farm down near Howell Mill Road today, and there was a photo shoot going on.  Awesome location.  I think this is the best of the pictures I took.  Unknown model.  The other three are pictures I took over the past year, that seem to tell a compelling story....

“Just enjoy the moment.”

Josh Feingold | Feb 28, 2013

I have a new mantra.  “Enjoy the moment.” Since all I really have is the moment, and I am comfortable that my basic needs will be cared for in life, nothing else really matters – except for the moment. And in that moment, happyiness must reign supreme.  Gratefulness that I am on the right side of the grass, as my barber put it so sucinctly the other day. All there is to ask myself in any moment if I am happy.  Am I enjoying doing whatever the heck I am doing?  Am I enjoying conversing with the person who is across from me? Lately, when the answer is no, I close my eyes, and meditate.  I’ve done this on the road with kids fighting in the back.  (My eyes were open.) I’ve done this in a waiting room after I arrived an hour early due to a miscommuniation about my appointment time.  And I have done this as I sat on mute on a rather boring conference call. The meditation really accomplish that much per se, but it does allow me to escape from my surroundings, and bring me back to all I really have, which is consciousness of myself, and the appreciation that I have for said...

“Not every teachable moment should be taught.”

Josh Feingold | Feb 14, 2013

My friend emailed me the other day after one of my teachable moment posts and reminded me of an important point: not every teachable moment should be taught. The point is that kids kids need a balance. While as parents, we are charged with helping them learn the ropes in life, an equally important goal for us is to provide our children with a safe environment.  Part of which is the feeling that when they tell us something, we listen, carefully.  That we repect what they have to say.  That we hear and understand them.  That we accept them.  That they are loved for being who they are as they are. When we teach really things are about us, whereas when we listen, things are about them.  And they realize this to. So ultimately, it is a balance.  But isn’t most everything in...

“I am.”

Josh Feingold | Feb 13, 2013

I have a big ego.  I think I am pretty great.  Have done some pretty amazing things. This, I owe to my parents. They taught me that I am great, and do pretty amazing things. All in all, that isn’t so bad, other than the fact that with these feelings of granduer, I also carry feelings of inferiority. Of not being as good as others.  Of just being average. I discussed this in the past on my series about self-esteem, and have come to realize that I was close, but a year and a half later now realize that I didn’t really get all the way to the bottom of things. You see, so long as you compare yourself to others, even if to compare yourself in a positive light, it leaves open the responsiblity (if you are honest with yourself) to compare yourself in a negative light. So, to say, I am therefore I rock, which was my earlier conclusion, allows that little subconscious trigger to step in and ask “Josh, are you sure you rock? What about x, y, and z?” We also discussed the whole person model, which while it helps if you choose to compare, well, you are still comparing, wherein the danger lies. A more healthy approach is simply to view yourself as being.  Simply as “I am.”  After all, that is really all that any of us are.  Just existing.  And as we have discussed comparing humans is about as helpful as comparing chimpanzees. By approaching ourselves with this feeling of “I am,” there is no room for comparison – both to the positive or the negative.  Which besides for being true, is a better way to live too. So the goal, is for me to remember that “I am.”  Any modifier, and, in truth I am lying to myself....

“Much unhappiness stems from comparison.”

Josh Feingold | Feb 12, 2013

At dinner tonight with my kids, my youngest said “I can’t wait to grow up so I can be a teacher.” So I pointed out there were really two things wrong with that perspective. Number one, I said, you can be a teacher at any age.  Sure they might not pay you, but there is little that you want to do, but you can’t do; at any age.  Any contraint that you think there is, well, is a creation of our own imagination. However, the main thing that I mentioned was that I asked, Why are you looking forward to when you grow up?  Why not focus on your great now.  After all, I would love to be a kid and not have to work!” Of course, we all do this.  We focus on what we don’t have instead of what we do. The interesting thing to me was to realize how early on we take on the perspective of wanting to be who we are not.  I take it for granted in adults, who are always looking at the car next door or their friends nice house, but I was never cognizant of how early this affliction sets in. As a child.  A small child. And of course, it is probably an adult (in my case 50% chance me!) that taught them to focus on what they don’t have and who they are not, instead of the more healthy focus of what they have and who they are. So, of course, I took the opportunity to teach my children well, and said how most of humanity is just crazy, and focusing on the wrong thing.  I reminded them to appreciate just being who they are and where they are in life – no matter where that might be. And they all agreed. Who knows, maybe it will stick.  I hope it does.   For me,...