We all live in our own little world, filled with historical nature and nurture which creates our present. It’s a complicated little world with conflicting emotions, feelings, and desires. When we face another person, their little world, and our little world come together, resulting in the colliding of two worlds, to create a third little world.
Of course, when we view this third world, it is like asking people on either side of a statue to describe what they see. Of course, one person will describe the front, and the other person the back. But they are both looking at the same statue, just from different angles.
Nothing new here.
However, what is important, is that there really is no point arguing with how someone perceives their little world, since from their perspective they are totally correct and your words are unlikely to be heard productively. Of course, if the other party is very open to change and honest with themselves, perhaps it will work, but the majority of people seem to get stuck in their perspectives in life.
Having said all of this, perhaps the first step should be to see if you are looking at things wrong yourself.