Month: August 2012

I bumped into a friend this morning that I hadn’t seen for a while, and in conversation, realized that I was explaining certain aspects of my life to him.

Then later in the morning, in an email, I realized that I was justifying myself to someone when they misread what I meant in a previous email.

What both of these experiences had in common, is that somewhere within me there was a voice that insisted that I made sure people understand that I was in the right – and others in the wrong.

This justification is a sign of insecurity.  Since had I been secure in myself, there would be no need for justification at all!  I would have just smiled and waved, no really caring what the others thought.

Of course, some of you will argue, but if you don’t stand up for yourself, those people will think their assumptions are correct about you, even if they are not.  Don’t you need to set the record straight?

Perhaps.  But probably not all the time.

From a self building perspective, it is probably more important that we allow people to remain with their mistaken beliefs from time to time, in order that we can be more secure in our place in the world, and further realize that what others think about us really doesn’t matter  (as long as we are respectful to everyone).

One other take away, is that if you feel a need to set the record straight, or be right, you have some unfinished business with personal security that you might want to look into.

I know I do, so for the next week, I think I will refrain from correcting people.

One of my friends on Facebook, shared an interesting link on Slate.com, which demonstrated that pretty much in every category, Olympic winners of today are faster than the Olympiads of 100 years ago.

Considering that I doubt we have changed our physical features very little, and evolution has probably not really not been focusing on physical mutations as much as brain mutations due to our changing societal needs, why would this be?

On the one hand, it could be that people are training harder.  Perhaps, as the Olympics have become more popular it brings Olympiads out of the woodwork.  Finally, it could be that there are nations that participate now, that didn’t participate in the past.

However, I would make the case that these physical advances are really all mental, and demonstrate a few important lessons.

1) With a goal in mind, we accomplish more.  In this case, the goal was the previous existing world record.  Goals give us something to actively strive for, and focus on, as well as try not to fail at.  All of which help us go farther.

2) Humans are intrinsically lazy.  We have discussed this with regards to thinking, but this also extends to getting what we want.  We don’t put forth more effort than is needed to accomplish our goals, which in this case is to beat the old record and be number one. There is much less motivation to smash it.

3) We use others as a gauge of what can be accomplished.  This results in the fact, that we don’t even set our goals based on what we are capable of, rather, what others have done.

To me this third lesson is of most interest, since, what it implies is that we are all much more capable at exceeding our goals, but we limit ourselves by looking at the accomplishments of others.

So let’s set our goals appropriate to the greatness within, and not the greatness of others without!