“Figure out what underlies everything you do.”

I have to be honest.  I don’t write my blog daily.  As I write this entry, it is scheduled to post in about two months.  So if this post is published, it means that it is still true two months later, which is a good thing, as will be crystal clear after you read this.

It’s time for another personal posting.  I am a pretty introspective guy.
Throughout my life, I have thought about what makes me tick and why I do what I do.  However, I was never able to answer the question, what underlies it all?  What is the motivating factor underneath everything else that drives me forward?  What is the silent question that constantly begs for an answer?  What is the subtle bias that infiltrates my thoughts, statements, and actions on a daily basis?

Of course, I tried asking the question, and looking for an answer but I couldn’t figure it out.  My mind just couldn’t grasp it.  It was just tucked too deep down in my psyche.  It was like looking at the sea bed from atop a boat; not happening.

So I started thinking about things in a structured manner, using my journal to accompany me for the first time in my life on the journey.  I also found a decent therapist to guide me (REBT if you are interested), and had the emotional capability and life experiences needed to get to the bottom of things.  Honestly, without all of those things in place, I doubt I could have done it.  But at 36, I am young and so happy to have been able to figure things out this early in my life.  Most people figure things out much later.  Actually, I bet that most people never figure things out at all.  Have you, dear reader?  Be honest.

Anyway, like an onion, I slowly, slowly peeled away my insecurities, layer after layer, getting deeper and deeper until, all of the sudden I realized I had hit the bottom.  I was elated!  I had figured it out.  I knew what drove me to do what I did, and could then focus on fixing that issue once and for all.  How amazingly exciting.  What a gift that I gave myself.  Now I am truly free, since with knowledge of self comes power to control myself – which I didn’t have before.

So I hope that you too have the opportunity to figure out what underlies you, as without that you will surely have much pain in your life, and it doesn’t need to be that way.  You just need to focus inward, and work, work, work, and hopefully you will be able to share with me that you too were able to find your own personal freedom using a similar method to myself.

P.S.  Here is the shortcut to self-discovery.  Start by looking at the actions (or lack of action) that you do that are intuitively know are wrong, then think about what insecurity underlies them, and follow that up with asking what fear the insecurity is covering up.  Then take that fear and insecurity, and see if you can take it to the next level.  Keep going down until you hit the bottom.   Chances are there are only two or three levels.  I also am willing to bet that our base fear is the same, so tell me what you find at the bottom and we’ll compare notes.

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