“Find ‘the many’, before you find ‘the one’.”

I received the following thought from someone I was exchanging emails with the other day, and thought it brought out an important point to how I have been living that I wanted to share.

“If I have to be honest with you though, I do not think I am the type of girl who can just ‘snuggle watching tv’ while waiting for ‘THE ONE.’ Between you and me, I wish I could; I think my life would be a lot happier.”

After I got divorced, I realized that there were two approaches in front of me.  I could jump back into another relationship to try and sooth the pain, or I could take some time, live with pain, and evaluate things.

As readers of my blog might guess, I was naturally inclined to choose the latter.  And I did.  And boy and I glad that I did.

Through my evaluation, I was able to ascertain that I have needs.  I think I mention most of them a few weeks ago.  There is a tendency to say that these needs must be filled by one person.  However, what I have learned is that it is equally possible to have these needs filled by multiple people.

Of course, this method isn’t ideal, but it does allow for someone to get control of their life, and not need to settle in their next committed relationship.

The the basic idea is you find different friends to meet different needs, and then patiently wait for the right person to come along who has all that you want and desire in a mate.  If you think about it, this is not just an approach for divorcees, rather, a good approach for anyone who is single and looking to get married.

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