“I am.”

I have a big ego.  I think I am pretty great.  Have done some pretty amazing things.

This, I owe to my parents.

They taught me that I am great, and do pretty amazing things.

All in all, that isn’t so bad, other than the fact that with these feelings of granduer, I also carry feelings of inferiority.

Of not being as good as others.  Of just being average.

I discussed this in the past on my series about self-esteem, and have come to realize that I was close, but a year and a half later now realize that I didn’t really get all the way to the bottom of things.

You see, so long as you compare yourself to others, even if to compare yourself in a positive light, it leaves open the responsiblity (if you are honest with yourself) to compare yourself in a negative light.

So, to say, I am therefore I rock, which was my earlier conclusion, allows that little subconscious trigger to step in and ask “Josh, are you sure you rock? What about x, y, and z?”

We also discussed the whole person model, which while it helps if you choose to compare, well, you are still comparing, wherein the danger lies.

A more healthy approach is simply to view yourself as being.  Simply as “I am.”  After all, that is really all that any of us are.  Just existing.  And as we have discussed comparing humans is about as helpful as comparing chimpanzees.

By approaching ourselves with this feeling of “I am,” there is no room for comparison – both to the positive or the negative.  Which besides for being true, is a better way to live too.

So the goal, is for me to remember that “I am.”  Any modifier, and, in truth I am lying to myself.


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