A friend of mine pointed out that more often than not he was noticing a competitive nature to interactions between him and other parties with whom he has relationships.
Of course, I thought, that is what our ego makes us do! What a cool insight. Our ego, forces us to compete. For if we can’t be number one, says our ego, we are nothing. Or so the exaggerated thinking goes. So instead of just admitting that we are wrong, or simply number two (or three, or four) we fight. And we fight like our whole existence depends on it. Because, to some extent it does – since our ego is under attack.
[Tangent: It is for this reason, that it is never good advice to disagree with someone we want to impress. Since if we are disagreeing with them, we are really attacking them, and in doing so, they have to defend themselves, and put up separation between themselves and us, which if our goal is a positive impression – well, you get the idea, that just isn’t the right direction.]
Ever see the bumper sticker, “He Who Dies With The Most Toys Wins”? Same idea. As is the desire to drive the nicest car, be the most famous person, the richest person, the most attractive spouse, the most well behaved children, etc. We just need to be number one – or we are nothing.
However, friends, life as you know is not a competition. For if it is. We are all losers. None of us will ever be number one at EVERYTHING. We just aren’t built like that, we are human. And humans are imperfect – which is why fairy tales are just tales and why there is an industry built on the image that lives of movie stars are somehow different than ours!
And this is why the person who acts like he has everything should be pitied. Because, I can tell you with 100% certainty that underneath his/her façade is a very vulnerable person that realized that they are faking things so the world won’t see them for who they are. Someone who projects a false image so the real world won’t see the real them.
And how can I say this with such certainty, you ask? Because, all of us put up a façade, and the more blatant it is, the more they are trying to hide behind it. Those people who have less to hide, and who accept themselves, or don’t care how they are perceived, put on less of an act and let the real them shine through and have found that, by doing this, they have freed themselves from the competitive aspect of interactions with others. Like me if you will, hate me if you will. It’s your choice, and I respect it.
So remember, life is not a competition. Just be brave, be yourself, and allow the true you to spill forth. We’ll love you for it. Most of us at least.