“The source of personal responsibility.”

A good friend of mine mentioned that I seem to take responsibility for other people more than I should, which got me to thinking… She’s right, why do I do that?

So here are those attributes of myself that lead me to this current reality:

1) Intuitiveness – I am able to read between the lines with people words, mannerisms, and intonation.

2) Creativity – I am able to fully imagine myself in their shoes.

3) Emotional Intelligence – I have a real grasp of my own emotional responses to certain situations, and use this information to help form an opinion of how the other individual must be feeling.

4) Projection – I assume that the other person feels just as bad as I do about their situation.

5) Empathy – Due to the weak emotional borders, I have a strong sense of empathy for the person.  This means that I take on their emotions as my own. I don’t just intellectually understand what they are saying, but I also feel what they are experiencing.

6) Anxiety – I don’t want to feel bad, so the only way that I can think to fix my situation is to help fix their situation.

The above six steps lead to the end result of me feeling responsible for others.  As I have mentioned in the past, the way to fix this, is through stronger emotional borders.  However, until 1) someone pointed out the issue and 2) I researched and found someone online mention anxiety as the driving force – which I know recognize weakens my borders, I was unable to really see the whole picture and attempt to fix things.

Ironically, my taking of responsibility is not necessarily for their own good, rather for my own.  To prevent my own personal anxiety.  Of course, that it should all come back to myself is not that much of a surprise.  But like always, it is.

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