“What kind of martyr are you?”

Martyrdom is a common thread in our modern society.

As men, we are told to sacrifice ourselves for our family as a warrior, and women are told that kindness and selflessness is required in raising her family.

However, both sexes to some extent are taught to be martyrs – albeit from subtle messages in society.

The problem with martyrdom is that in the way most of us experience it, it is a weakness and not a strength.  I’ll explain.

There is two types of giving (which is what the martyr does), from fear, and from choice.  Any giving that is done from fear, is actually demonstrating a weakness in the individual.  They actually, are not making a choice to martyr themselves, rather, they are too weak to stand up and face the alternative, so they give in by giving.  This is the typical martyr that we see in relationships, and society.  If it’s you, stop.

Now, that is certainly not to say that giving is weak.  When it is done from a sense of who we are, and that by giving we strengthen the sense of who we are and what we want to be, and it is done with no fear of the consequences, that is martyrdom that is done with great strength, and should be appreciated.

The main way, I have found to figure out if a giving action was done from weakness or strength, was to see my thoughts towards action and the person I gave to afterwards.  If I feel regretful or unappreciated, then it was done from a place of weakness.  If I feel proud of my actions, then I know it was done from a place of strength.

So, what kind of martyr are you?

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