OK, here’s the deal. Read yesterday’s post, then come back to this one. It was kind of a lie. I didn’t actually think about myself and come up with the idea of using my defensiveness to figure out my weaknesses. I used yours. I pretty much do it with everyone that I meet. Maybe you do too.
Its just one way I figure out your weakness, so I can compare myself to you and decide if you are worthy of a relationship with me or vice-versa. Complete hogwash (great word, right?) which I am sure we’ll discuss sometime.
However, that does lead me to the next point, which is once you do something to someone else, you better make sure you do it to yourself. So in this case, I need to think about my own sensitivities and defensiveness and not just look at yours. Which brings me to today’s post.
I find it hard to key in on those area of my life that need fixing, but I have found that if I think about those areas where i am sensitive when someone mentions something or find myself getting defensive (we all know that internal emotional feeling that comes with defensiveness) , I can tune into areas which need improvement. Try it for yourself and see if it helps you take a shortcut to the ever evasive self-improvement in those areas that just keep getting us down and keep pushing us behind in life.
By admitting this simple fact to yourself, life can be so much more meaningful. Our time on earth is so brief, and our role so insignificant, that no matter how significant we might think we are in the annals of history, we might as well admit the fact that our real value is to ourselves – in the now. So don’t worry about how people might view your actions since you are the center of your world, while at the same time don’t get upset by when you are insulted since how much do you really matter in this vast world that will forget you. That my friends, is the conundrum of life.
About a month ago I was in Mexico, and stopped by a street vendor who was selling lunch. I asked her what she was selling, and found out that it was some type of cows stomach and intestines offering. Now, I’m not much of a vittles kind of guy, but I figured, when is the next time I’m going to be in Mexico at some random market, and have the opportunity to eat slow cooked cow stomach and intestines? So I tried it. And didn’t like it at all. And now I know not to eat it again if I ever have the opportunity.
Then this week, I was invited to join a friend for “Hot Yoga,” which is basically Yoga in a room that is heated up to 105 degrees. Honestly, when she asked me, I thought to myself, no that really doesn’t sound like something of much interest to me. Sweating hard doing Yoga. But then I thought, why not. It’s an experience, and how often do I have the opportunity to try a new experience? So I did it. And you know what? I liked it. Not enough to go back tomorrow, but enough to seriously consider going back in the future.
So never skip an opportunity to try something new. You never know what you’ll learn from the experience, and you will definitely expand yourself, learn about yourself, and have an opportunity to retreat from the boredom of the mundane life that we all typically fall into if we just repeat the same patterns over and over.
Humans like to take sides. It just makes life so much easier. Democrats or Republicans. Mets or Yankees. Choose a side, and no further thinking is needed about the subject. However, in reality, life is much too complex to really take sides. For most decisions, there are competing factors at play that need to be examined. So how do we determine what areas in our life need examining? Find those areas of ambivalence that you have. Ambivalence is your minds way of telling you that you aren’t so sure which way to go. So by examining the underlying reasons behind you ambivalence, you can then better understand yourself, and in doing so, make a mature decision about what do with whatever situation you are faced with.