I met someone a while back that really impressed me.  A volunteer, family focused, a leader in the community, a giving soul.  All attributes that I admired in myself – and couldn’t help but really admire in others.

As I got to know the person better – and honestly as I get to know everyone better, myself included, but that’s a topic for another post – I couldn’t help but to find a real lack of self-esteem underlying their persona.

Which is when I realized, that many people who feel a need to succeed, are probably driven by the internal message that they learned in their childhood, that they are nothing.  So to combat that message, they focus on proving to the world (and their internal voice) that they are something by volunteering, having a picture perfect family, or taking leadership roles.

The ironic thing is that often times many people really do blossom into “someone” amazing, but they still live with the internal message that they are “nothing” and continue treating themselves as such.  So for this group, they need to do the hard work to appreciate how amazing they really are, and not quit until they really know that not only are they not average, but they are WELL above average, and in fact, they have escaped the reality of their childhood beliefs.

So if this post speaks to you, take a moment and reflect if perhaps it is time to work on figuring out how to escape from the false message you have been telling yourself for so long.  The only person who doesn’t appreciate how amazing you really are – is you.

A friend of mine calls me every once in a while, and I have to say, it’s pretty cool.  I guess all the ladies out there are probably like, um yeah, of course you call your friends, but as a guy, I never really called a friend just to say hello.  But my friend did.

So I started doing it too.  When I am driving (sorry Mom) I just grab a random friend I haven’t talked to in a while, and give them a call to catch up.  It’s great.  I get to see what is going on in their life and spend some time with them which would otherwise be wasted listening to the radio.

Try it, you’ll like it.

Life gets busy.  Work, family, friends, stuff.  It’s just busy.  For some of us, it gets hard to take time for ourselves.  However, let’s keep in mind, that we are an important part of the equation of our existence, right.  So make some time on your calendar once a week to get breakfast, lunch, or beer with a friend and catch up on life – and at the same time take a little time out for yourself.

I always wondered why people say “It doesn’t hurt to ask” when we all know that it really does!  More often than not, when we ask and don’t really know what the outcome will be, we are making ourselves vulnerable, putting ourselves in a situation where there is fear of rejection, and potentially putting our self-esteem on the line.  Often it really does hurt to ask… and if you think about it, the fear of the ask is most likely harder emotionally than the negative feelings that we will receive if we are actually told no!  So always remember, it does hurt to ask, but try anyways.

Hey, it’s my one month blog anniversary!  One down, eleven to go for my goal of a one year blog.  About two hundred forty simple truths, typed out one at a time.  As I mentioned a few weeks back, by breaking down big goals into smaller parts, we can reach our ultimate goal,  however, to keep us motivated, we need to celebrate our small accomplishments along the way with external motivation.  For me, that is a monthly reward, which I now need to think up, by the end of typing up this post.

Ideally, the reward should be something in line with the task at hand.

So if you are dieting, and have a goal of x pounds lost, reward yourself with something relevant to the diet, so no ice cream if you lose x pounds.  Rather, new pants that you wanted that fit you so much better.

Ah, so how do I apply it here?  The blog represents a way to share myself with the world and open up.  So I could take some time and start that book I have been planning on writing for much too long.  No, that’s not it.  Hmm. Well this blog represents an ego boost for me, knowing that at least someone is reading it (well at least my mom is).  So perhaps I should just give myself an ego boost, by celebrating the small accomplishment with you, by means of the blog post, dear reader.  Yeah, that works.

So here is to another eleven small successes over the next year!  Cheers.