I had an itch last night at 3:30AM, and realized that in this whole big world that I find myself, no one would have that particular experience but me. And as I continued thinking, I realized that this entire life I am living, well, it is solely my own, and distinct from everyone else.
Now before you say, this is obvious, which in some ways it is, perhaps I never fully realized it at this level before, so I wanted to put it in writing somewhere. I’m having this one experience of living that no one else in the world is having. And it is all I have, really.
As I found myself as having a distinct experience, I expected this would be a lonely place to end up, but in truth, it was the opposite. I had never felt more connected.
Thinking about things, perhaps this is because to see myself as truly separate is the only way to actually see myself. My existence in the moment is no longer intertwined with the world at large, and most importantly other people. When we can’t see ourselves as distinct, and rather intertwined with others, that is where loneliness creeps in. Because we feel disconnected from ourselves due to the missing other.
However, if I can see that I simply exist fully, as I am, alone in the moment, nothing is missing. It is not a lonely place, since instead of feeling disconnected from others and the world, I more clearly see myself as part of the greater world at large.
After all, I stand on the earth, and am not separate from it other than by some classification I made in my mind. And this holds true of anyone or everything else that I interact with. I am part of the fabric of the world, and in doing so supremely connected, all while standing alone.