It’s funny but one of the most time consuming things that we ever do in life, we don’t put all that much thought into before we do it.
Our career? We go to a four or more year collage to prepare. How about relationships. How much time did you spend learning about relationships before you started having a serious one? Exactly.
While this is NOT a blog about relationships, I will throw out some basics that I have learned about over the years, and hope that you will take advantage of learning more about them before you enter into them – and make sure that your significant other understands these things as well.
1) How we fall in love – We project an external image of what need to fix in ourselves on our partner, typically from something from our childhood, and our partner does the same. Once the lust stage is over we end up fighting about these things. Better to fix these issues BEFORE we get married!
Suggested Reading: Falling in Love: Why We Choose the Lovers We Choose by Ayala Malakh-Pines
2) Attachment Theory – Now that you have met someone that meets your needs in a healthy way, understand you and your partners capacity to be intimate and have an intimate partner. Ultimately, intimacy (which is really honesty on a relationship level) provides the foundation for a secure relationship.
Suggested Reading: Attached – by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller.
3) The five love languages – We continue to feel secure in a relationship, when our partner expresses their love in one of our love languages – of which there are five – and we probably received love in one or two main ways, which hopefully map to how our partner provides it!
Suggested Reading: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman
So with a fifty dollar investment, you can greatly impact the quality of your relationships, and better insure that your partners are a good fit for you – and that you are a good fit for them!