Humans tend to gravitate to extremes. We act this way, due to a desire to bind conflicting realities and giving weight to one reality or the other.
I better approach it to recognize that the two conflicting extremes exist, and honestly live in your reality. By doing this, issues don’t “pop up” since you are already figuring out a way to incorporate them into your already healthy life. You also, don’t seek out the surpressed value in others, in a nod to self-acceptance, since you already repect that same value in yourself, leading to healthier relationships.
Just to make this post clear. I don’t mean living two different lives – that is dishonest to an exterme with others, but most importantly yourself. What I do mean is incorporating the different aspects of your reality instead of blocking them in their entirety or surpressing them.
To me, as I try to model humanity, the capability to do this is evidence of higher personal growth, than our default programming.