A friend of mine told me a great line in reference to dating, that “When you settle, you get exactly what you settle for.”
I think that this is very true, and in fact, commitment happens when both parties to a relationship are willing to settle for the other person.
Herein, I think, lies a problem.
Having done some research on the science of choices, there are two broad strokes of people. One person will accept the first option that is “good enough” to meet their needs, while another first carefully surveys all of their options before making a selection.
I myself, act like the first person in most decisions, but the second person in very important decisions, like buying a house or choosing who to commit to. The issue is that in dating, there is an endless number of potential people out there (most just one click away!) making it very difficult to settle for another. As I date, I can always thinking that in a worst case, a better person is just around the corner, which serves as an emotional protection from rejection (they did me a favor!) and makes it hard to commit.
On the other hand, perhaps there is truth to the perspective that someone times a person needs to be ready to settle down (brings a new meaning to settle down, doesn’t it?), and I am not ready to settle. However, on the other hand, it could simply mean that I haven’t met the right person, that I am willing to settle for.
In all honestly, I’m not sure which perspective is correct. And like many truths, my gut is that the answer is somewhere in between. However, this is something that I am actively thinking about, and need to figure out quickly so as not to hurt others – or myself.