“If you want to always be happy, stop setting expectations.”

Someone asked me how I always seems happy about things, and I took some time to think about it.  Now, I am certainly not ALWAYS happy, but if you put me with a random group of people I would be closer to the second standard deviation of happy people (go college statistics!).  So I thought about the people that I know that are not always happy, and about myself, and I think it comes down to how we view the world, with regards to setting expectations.  Basically, I have no expectations.  I certainly have high hopes, but no real expectations.  In fact, if anything, I expect things to fail.  So when things go right, it makes me happy, and when things go wrong, I was already emotionally prepared for the event, and it doesn’t impact me too much.  On the other hand, those people who expect things to turn out right, and then things don’t, are constantly disappointed, since more than often, life doesn’t work that way.   So perhaps that explains my attitude, and helps provide a lesson that we can try to use ourselves to improve our daily life – simply don’t set expectations.

“If you think you know yourself, think again.”

Well, I spent some time at Starbucks writing down areas of sensitivity yesterday, and I hit the jackpot.  Won’t tell you what I found out, but it is big.  I can’t believe that with all of the insight that I have into myself, I deluded myself about something as key as this fact until now.  So lesson learned, people are like onions with layers of complexity.  Once you feel that you have plateaued with your understanding of yourself, dig a little deeper, and see what you find.  You’ll be amazed!

“Ideas are easy. Take action.”

Sorry, for this post, you need to review the last two.  Basically, though, yesterday, I realized that I need to look at my own areas of weakness to tease out areas of improvement.  Only problem was, I was only looking for ideas for my blog.   I wasn’t planning on taking any action.

But I thought to myself, isn’t one of the major points of the blog to help create change in your life, which cut me short, because in truth, it wasn’t part of the original plan at all.  Rather, it was just to put the ideas out there for my kids as they grow up, to create a connection with whoever chooses to read the blog, and to help clarify some thoughts (writing does that for me).  In that order.  However, change was never really part of the exercise.  Until that post.

So now, I need to take out my journal, and write down my areas of sensitivity and defensiveness and see if it brings out any new areas of  focus and improvement.  Who knows, maybe I’ll get to know myself better.  Which is one of the main purposes of life after all, isn’t it?

“Do onto yourself as you do to onto others.”

OK, here’s the deal.  Read yesterday’s post, then come back to this one.  It was kind of a lie.  I didn’t actually think about myself and come up with the idea of using my defensiveness to figure out my weaknesses.   I used yours.   I pretty much do it with everyone that I meet.   Maybe you do too.

Its just one way I figure out your weakness, so I can compare myself to you and decide if you are worthy of a relationship with me or vice-versa.  Complete hogwash (great word, right?) which I am sure we’ll discuss sometime.

However, that does lead me to the next point, which is once you do something to someone else, you better make sure you do it to yourself.  So in this case, I need to think about my own sensitivities and defensiveness and not just look at yours.  Which brings me to today’s post.

“If you want to find areas of improvement, look to areas you are sensitive to or defensive about first.”

I find it hard to key in on those area of my life that need fixing, but I have found that if I think about those areas where i am sensitive when someone mentions something or find myself getting defensive (we all know that internal emotional feeling that comes with defensiveness) , I can tune into areas which need improvement.  Try it for yourself and see if it helps you take a shortcut to the ever evasive self-improvement in those areas that just keep getting us down and keep pushing us behind in life.