I have learned that there are a few ways of talking that can impact the results of your conversation in a more positive way. I thought I would share them here, and as I learn more, hopefully, update this post.
1) In relationships, talk about yourself, not the other person. Meaning that instead of saying “You make me feel angry when x happens,” say, “I feel angry when x happens.” This makes the person less defensive, and focuses the issue on you, which after all is where it really belongs. Right?
2) Use “and” instead of “but”. Instead of saying “I love you but really hate it when x happens,” say “I love you and really hate it when x happens.” But negates the previous part of the sentence, whereas and is a continuation. This subtle change can impact how your message is received as well.
So choose your words carefully, and see how it helps you to better get what you want in life. After, all that is the goal of those conversations, isn’t it?