I realized that there are a lot of things that we seem to suppress.
Typically, it seems that Anger, Sexuality, masculinity in Women, and sensitiveness in Men, are all very suppressed items in modern day America.
Here’s the problem with suppression. When you push it down in one place, it just explodes somewhere else. This is both on an individual level as well as a societal.
I could document all kinds of areas where this is true, but I’ll assume that you intuitively agree.
Where this really comes to play is with guiding ourselves – as well as our kids.
What is important to relate to children is that all feelings are normal. If you are feeling them, and you are a healthy human being, which most of us are, by definition they are normal. There is no such thing as a wrong feeling, or emotion.
Now of course, just because we feel something, doesn’t mean it is always appropriate to act on it. Rather, like all emotions, there is a time and a place for everything. So we explain, when the socially suppressed traits are appropriate, and when they are not. However, we allow for balance, and an area where feelings can be expressed, so the feelings don’t need to be suppressed and need to be acted out on later in life.
I think this is one of the hardest lessons to really get as a parent, but if we get it right, what a gift we are giving our children. If you feel it, it’s healthy and normal!