One of my close friends stopped by last night for a beer, and he was able to help me finish off an idea that has been nagging at me for a while.
Here goes. Let’s start with guys.
If you are a sensitive guy, that cares, and listens, and can be a good friends and person, then society labels you as a wimp or a nerd, but certainly not cool or attractive. On the other hand, if you are a macho guy, that doesn’t care or listen, or “get it” then you are a loser, for lack of a better term.
On the girl side, if you are too smart or not attractive enough (whatever that means in your society), you are are not much of a woman but if attractive but not too smart, you are a dumb blond.
These are the messages that we are sent as a society that we all must fight on either extreme. The problem, is that as people we are not very good at discerning shades grey, rather, we are more blank and white kind of thinkers, it is just easier for us to do – and our brain likes easy. So we have this constant inner critic that tells us that we aren’t a good person for being on either side of the spectrum!
How sad. And it starts when we are a child and no one tells us to think any differently!
So there are a few lessons here.
First, truly believe that there is no qualification for being masculine or feminine. To make things simple, if you consider yourself masculine, you are as masculine as they come. If you consider yourself feminine, you are as feminine as they come. Then teach this to your children.
Remember, this is your world, and you define things, not others, not society, so this is not a false assumption. You can’t let the world define you, or your view on others, unless that is something you want it to do. But who would want that?