“You don’t need to be friends with people who are hurtful to you.”

Sometimes I piss people off.

Yeah, I do.  I certainly don’t mean to, but I seem to do it quite a bit lately.

Typically, it is when people get annoyed by my tenacity.  My lack of giving up.  My push to make things happen. Quickly.

Other times it is when someone wants something from me, but I’m not willing (or perhaps able) to provide what they want.

But in no case, do I think I am being hurtful.  I may make them mad, but I am never purposely hurtful.

What is the difference?

Reactionary hurt is malicious, wheras regular hurt is a byproduct of someone not liking something about you.

No matter how much I decide I dislike you, I have no right to be hurtful to you.  I have no right to say disparaging things.  I have no right to twist the knife, and make it hurt.  I don’t have to like you, but you don’t need to feel bad about that.

And if I do, this attitude comes from a very unhealthy place.  A dark place.  A sad place.

In truth,  at the essence it comes from a scared place, which is why we may forgive those who are proactively hurtful for their actions.  Of course, there are those who feel that they deserve the reaction of others, but I would think that unless what you did was purposefully hurtful, there is no real excuse for their reactive actions.

If you want to be magnanamous, perhaps give someone a break the first time, but if there is a pattern, it isimportant   to remember that we may well be better off saying goodbye to these people and finding others who are kind and gentle to replace what may have been a misguided friendship.


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