One key reason we get frustrated is that we expect to be in control of a situation and then find that we are not.  Therefore, by accepting the fact that we are not in control of our environments, we can save ourselves much needless angst.

This also means that we can’t control the actions of our family, neighbors, friends, coworkers, boss, or anyone else for that matter.  They have free will and will do what they want.  So while we can try to influence certain behaviors, at the end of the day, what they do is up to them. (Tangentially, what they do that is negative is also not a reflection on you, so don’t take it personally – which people always seem to do for some reason.)

Now, while you are not in control of your situation, how you react to your situation, is very much in your control.    Your reaction dictates how you will feel about a situation, and often times if will impact the outcome of the situation.  So make sure you keep control of yourself, and accept that fact that you are not in control of others or the situations you often find yourself in.

If this is the only post of mine you ever read, I hope you will find it to be as eye-opening as I found it as I discovered it.  It is probably the most amazing thought I have ever realized.

Personally, I have found that the only way to live is through honesty.

It begins with honesty with myself.  Which means, looking myself in the eyes and asking those scary questions that I want to avoid more than anything else in the world, and dealing with the inner demons.  Then I have to be honest with those around me; my family, my friends, my coworkers, my clients, and do what is right for them, and not what dishonesty might allow me to make right for me.

The trouble with honesty is that it is so hard.  Often times, it is hard to look at oneself honestly for a myriad of reasons, and other times it is hard to be honest in our relationships due to what we stand to gain through being a little dishonest.

However, when we are dishonest, what we really are doing is boxing ourselves in since when we are being dishonest, what we are really doing is allowing the world to manipulate us.  It’s ironic, but when we think we are manipulating the world, really, the opposite is happening.

So by being honest, we are actually freeing ourselves.  Freeing ourselves from the confines of the expectations of the world and the expectations of ourselves.  So the only way to find freedom in this world is through absolute honesty… and that is why honesty is the ONLY policy.

While many people have found balance, typically, most people that I meet fit into one of two roles, givers or takers.  So ask yourself, which are you?  A giver or a taker?

Once you figure this out, then I have some work for you.

If you are a giver, I want you to spend some time looking at each of your relationships, with yourself, your family, your friends, your coworkers, your community, and I want you to take for each of them.  Not just take and stop giving, but start taking a little more than you are used to taking.  Change the norm a little.

If you are a taker, I want you to also look at all of your relationships, and I want you to give to each of them.

If you start taking the opposite role to your norm, you will quickly find that life is more meaningful, and provides more depth, and balance as you move forward into the future.

The ultimate goal is that you will be able to both give and take in a healthy way in all of your relationships, and with practice you can get there.

Popular culture chases a few things, and on the top of the list is money.  It’s funny, because of all the things that we actually can say we have, money isn’t really one of them.

Ironically, in this day and age, money really has no intrinsic value.  At least back when our grandparents were around, there was some gold somewhere that backed up the dollar that you had in your pocket.  Not anymore.

So really, money comes and money goes, and all it really is, is a number on a bank statement somewhere – or for those of us less fortunate, a credit card balance due – or perhaps both.

So why are we so enamored with money?  Because we relate money with power and potential.  However, as regular individuals we need to remember that popular culture is sending a message to us regular folks, when they say “Time is Money” that might not be so healthy.  Because in truth, for us money is time.

If you think about it, time is your most limited resource.  By the time you finish reading this post, you are that much closer to death.  Yeah, bummer.  So we have to make smart choices with our time.   Do we use that time to make money or do we use that time to impact the world in other positive ways – whatever way that may be.  Of course, I’ll leave that to you to decide, but don’t lose focus on the fact, that money is time – and not the opposite.

Look, I love my phone as much as you do.

Alarm clock, Angry Birds, Email, Test Messages, GPS, and oh yeah, telephone.

However, it’s just become too much of an intrusion.

I often feel like I am in an old cowboy movie, and drawing my gun from the holster for a quick check to see who has contacted me in the last sixty seconds.

Here’s the problem.

Phones are our connection to the outside world and the icon on the screen we are looking for is really a representation of “someone wants me” which is like crack for our self-esteem.  So every time we are checking our phone, what we really are doing is addicting ourselves to a feeling of maybe someone wants me, an then when there is a message, we get that rewarding feeling of “yes, someone wants me.”  So of course, we are constantly looking at the phone.

However, look what it is doing to us as a society.

We can’t focus on a conversation with the person sitting across from us.  We can’t take some time to read a book or watch a movie.  We can’t relax by the pool and let our thoughts go.  Simply, we can’t get into a relaxed state anymore because we are always looking for next next hit from our phone.

Friends, there is only one solution.  You have to put the phone away.   When you get home from work, turn it off, or turn off data service if you need to accept calls.  There’s an app for that.   When you go out for dinner, leave the phone in the car.   When you put your kids to bed, leave the phone in your bedroom and let the calls go to voicemail.

Think of this as an intervention.  You are addicted, and you had no idea, and the first thing to do is admit that you have a problem.  From there, you can work on the issues that you have created for yourself.  But the first step, is to put down the phone.